The Sunshine Box | March 29, 2012

Today is Thursday, March 29, 2012

After a month of health challenges:

Exhaustion....blood draws....CT Scan

a three night stay in the hospital...more blood draws..

and tests...and blood draws...and tests...

and then sent home to wait for pathology results.

Yesterday, I had a follow up appointment

Again, I hear that there are no answers.

There are no pathology results,

....but there are more blood tests,

...and more waiting.

Yes, it's been a challenging month.

Today, I came home to find a package on the table

...for me...

No special reason

...it's not a holiday

...it's not my birthday

for no reason in particular

...there it was....

  My "Little Box of Sunshine" arrived from Ohio ♥

...filled with happy yellow surprises....

...sweet, delightful suprises....

...from my sweet Christina and Steven and Blake...
...just because they love me ♥

...gotta admit, I thought these chicks were my favorite ♥...

But who am I kidding...nothing is better than original artwork from Blake!

Yes, that's the sun :)

It's a challenge to harness the enthusiasm and color within the lines...

...Grammy loves the explosion of energy!

Yep, my heart is smiling :)

...Up On The Roof....

March 14, 2012 The next five days will be a hospital stay for my little man. He's getting chemo, and we are asking for your continued prayers for protection and healing from cancer. Also, it took 3 nurses to hold him still for an injection today. On the one hand that stinks, but on the other I am impressed by what a strong will and body this boy has. Maybe he'll be a wrestler :)

March 16, 2012 Discovered the hospital’s rooftop playground this morning, munching on a mocha and a piece of lemon poppyseed bread right now, and looking forward to a visit from an old friend  this evening! Even days in the hospital can be wonderful when you allow God to adjust your perspective. Luke 11:33-35 says, “Your eye is a lamp, lighting up your whole body. If you live in wide-eyed wonder and belief, your body fills up with light. If you live squinty-eyed in greed and distrust, your body is a dank cellar. Keep your eyes open, your lamp burning, so you don’t get musty and murky. Keep your life as well-lighted as your best-lighted room.”…  …   … 

Thank you for your prayers as Blake's Journey continues.

We are hoping to skype tomorrow, but will see how well Blake has tolerated this most recent chemo infusions and how long the discharge process takes and what time they finally land at home.

Hospitals, doctors and treatments have become a very constant part of Blake's story...and the longer the journey gets the more I know that this little boy is a hero with strength and courage much bigger than I could muster.

When he challenges the shots, when he speaks his mind and says, "I don't like this"...when he goes to the rooftop playground to play in the sunshine, when he makes the decision that he wants to eat something, or play with toys, or read a book, or watch a show, or just rest...with every decision this sweet little boy is gaining the strength to recognize what he wants, what he can tolerate, what bothers him and what gives him joy...and in all things to know that this brave warrior has not retreated into himself....has not become angry...has not challenged "why me"...but has held on with the child like faith to believe to his core the truth in knowing...Be not afraid, God is with you! 

I am forever grateful for the strength of this precious family to bind together, to stay strong for one another, to be tender with one another and to prefer one another in love...this is indeed one of God's most precious treasures of a family....individually and as a unit. I am humbled at the thought of the mighty ministry that lies ahead for them. 

Just look at those smiles in the midst of this storm...and see the light in their eyes...the testing is relentless, and the joy is complete ...

My Visit to Good Sam....what ended up being my 4 day stay....2012

I am now home from the hospital after spending much too much time there!

 At this point they do not have an answer for what is going on with me...and have given me a lot of “no's" and not a single ""Yes, this is it!"

In a nutshell, after a week of what we thought was exhaustion and dehydration, I had become jaundiced and tested high in white blood counts and very high bilirubin counts...a CAT scan on Friday showed an enlarged liver and pancreas.

We got the initial blood results on Monday when my doc called and said get to the hospital NOW…I had been pre-admitted with an initial concern for some type of blood cancer, the tests began almost immediately to show no cancer or tumor markers though my liver enzymes continued to remain high and blood counts not altering much. The ultra sound showed the blood flow in and out of the liver was goodconcern for some type of blood cancer, the tests began almost immediately to show no cancer or tumor markers though my liver enzymes continued to remain high and blood counts not altering much. The ultra sound showed the blood flow in and out of the liver was good and the MRI showed there were no blockages of bile ducts or stones. I had a liver biopsy late Wednesday and after watching for concerns and taking more blood tests on Thursday, I was sent home to wait for the pathology reports to come back...which apparently can take up to a week...so better that I can wait at home and return to a more "normal" life style while I wait.

No medications were given to me in the hospital...only tests and more tests...they did not want to throw any meds into the liver to give it more work to do when it was already compromised. I do know that early on they were seeing things in the CT scan results that did not continue to show up in the MRI...

While there is confusion on what is going on...or rather what may have been beginning to go in internally, I am believing that God has stayed a life altering diagnosis, and answered our prayers with a healing. My doctor is not by nature an alarmist and would not have mentioned the possibility of cancer without having a strong case for believing it to be so.

I go back to the GI doc on the 27th and at that point hope to have some final answers...even if those answers end up being "we don't have any explanation"